What EVERY Star Wars Fan Needs!

Use the (chop)forks Luke, use the forks!"

Gotta love the guys at ThinkGeek.com. Who else would think up something like Star Wars Chop Sabers?

Or how about this Tauntaun sleeping bag?


You can "slumber in the belly of the beast," and they were even "thoughtful" (crazy?) enough to have "printed internal intestines." A little over-the-top realistic, perhaps?
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They have all kinds of things Star Wars, like a "Force Trainer", cookbook, R2D2 trashcan, lightsaber laser pointer, and how about this?


Your very own R2D2 peppermill! Now how cool is THAT?

Gotta love Geeks!

Now About Those Emails

After ranting and raving about spammy emails yesterday, one landed in my inbox this morning that was so perfect, it made me laugh out loud. Without further ado, I hereby present it to you...

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I just want to thank all of you for your e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ...
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

And I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because water splashes over 6 ft. out of the commode.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Oh, by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail (and blogs) with their hand on the mouse...

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

My Warped Sense Of Humor

I was going through some old files tonight and came across this video I haven't watched in ages. It still cracks me up.

Okay, probably most people won't find this nearly as funny as I do. You probably need to have my peculiar mix of interests to truly appreciate it... but then again, it went viral and spread all over the web a few years ago, so there must be a lot more warped people out there besides me!

The guy who did the video is Gary Brolsma. It's called "Numa Numa Dance" and the song is "Dragostea Din Tea" by the Romanian pop band "O-Zone". I think the video was first seen on Newgrounds in December of 2004.

Come on, watch it once and just see what you think...



... then admit it, watching this guy is a hoot!

And if you don't think it's funny, well okay. But at least I'm not the Lone Ranger here, cause lots of other people liked it so much it not only went viral, but inspired a lot of clones and spin-offs.

And that's my bit of warped humor nostalgia for the day.