Most days I might rant and rave about something, but I keep a pretty optimistic attitude for all that. But once in a while, I get more than a little overwhelmed and downright discouraged.
Today is such a day.
I’m behind on everything. The corollary is I can’t keep up with anything! The house is a disaster. It needs a good cleaning in the worst way. A really deep cleaning, clearing out a whole bunch of stuff cleaning.
With that in mind, I got the bright idea I’d kill two birds with one stone and be clearing stuff out of the basement and pod, and be selling the decent stuff and thus making some extra money to use to pay off my computer.
It’s a good plan, except for one thing. It takes time. Today drove that point home.
I’d advertised a nice wooden futon frame we aren’t using, and agreed to meet the people who wanted it in a nearby church parking lot. Jonathan was going to help me load it into the back of the truck, but first we had to get it out of the pod.
When we did, we discovered there must be a leak allowing some moisture in there, because the wood was coated with a powdery mold/mildew. So I needed to clean that off. Once again. . . it took time.
After we got it loaded, I had about 45 minutes until I needed to drive to the church. Not long enough to do anything much really, but too long to sit around and do nothing. Anyway, the point is that by the time we got this thing out, cleaned, loaded, and delivered, my morning was pretty well shot.
I am behind on doing snail mail this week. Same thing with humor mailings. I need to WORK. Online sort of work that is. I’m way behind there too. I just have many, many things to do, and can't seem to find enough time to get them all done. Worse is so many hours are lost to the chronic pain/ fibromyalgia/ chronic fatigue problems.
Like today for instance. I’ve been recuperating from a 4+ hour trip to Marietta, Georgia, and another 4+ hours back. While at the clinic yesterday I got an IV full of anti-viral stuff, and it’s knocked me on my can. The doctor warned me that might happen. Nothing like feeling like you’ve got the flu to help you get better, right?
She had another blood test result back, too. More discouraging news, but not surprising since it just went along with the other lab results. This was a special blood test to see if the body is fighting infection, and it was ten times higher than it ought to be. That means I need to take an oral anti-viral medication now, plus shots every two weeks. I am sooooo thrilled (read that with lots and LOTS of sarcasm).
And while I’m being so thrilled (NOT!), the doc also told me next visit it will be time to start work on clearing the fibrin out of my blood vessels. Previous tests showed that a likely problem. The short explanation is this fibrin coating on the inside of the blood vessels traps the viruses and bacteria, trying to protect the body. However, at the same time it slows down the oxygen diffusion out to the cells, contributing to the fatigue.
To correct the problem and get rid of the fibrin, thus allowing oxygen to get through easier, means those trapped bacteria, viruses and toxins will also be released. And apparently THAT means an average of two months of feeling WORSE before slowly getting better over the next 6 or 7 months.
Well now, that’s really thrilling. (That's more sarcasm in case you're wondering.)
Have I mentioned I feel downright discouraged today?
What I do know is that it took weeks to heal, and for a while there I was afraid I was going to have to get radical and ... GASP! Go to the doctor.
Then there's the ants. A few years ago I was taking pictures of a cotton field for an online magazine and walked out into the field to get some better shots. What I didn't realize and couldn't see was I ended up standing right in the middle of a fire ant nest. After a sting or two I went zipping out of that tall cotton and frantically brushed the ants off.
Those stings didn't bother me that much. But it happened again a couple of weeks later. And now it's to the point it doesn't have to be fire ants to give me problems. Even bites from black ants raise a blister. I've told Jess I'm probably going to be the first person in the world who has to carry around an EpiPen for ant bites.
And wouldn't you know, our last day at the beach I was taking pictures and some ants found me and I got 3 or 4 bites. They're slow to heal, so now my right foot and lower leg look like this:
My nature inflicted wounds may not look like much, but the scar is somewhere between the size of a dime and a quarter. The ant bite at least doesn't hurt any more, but the sting I got yesterday is a different matter altogether. It looks better but feels worse. Much worse.
I know, I know, in a way it's all darkly humorous. Who gets all these bites and stings anyway? But it sure puts a damper on working in flower beds or wearing sandals or walking through the woods without a care in the world.
I think I need some battle armor.
I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ...
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.