Solitary Misfit

I love my family.  Both sides of my family.  But I don't really fit into the family anywhere.  I'm a solitary misfit.

There are a lot of reasons for that.  Some from outside influences, some from my own personal preferences.

I've been a bit of a loner all my life.  When I was a kid, I was happiest out roaming over our farm, doing things like playing in the creek, riding horses, hunting for fossils, writing poetry or reading a book.  All solitary activities.

We didn't have any really close neighbors where I was constantly playing with other kids, and so for example, never got into playing a neighborhood game of ball.  Not once.  Maybe that's one of the reasons I never got interested in sports, which is another one of the reasons I'm a total misfit in my family.

As I got older I did more in school, at church, and at work, so was fairly active outside the home for some time.  But in the last few years Regional Pain Syndrome and Fibromyalgia put a stop to a lot of that.  And not entirely for physical reasons.  It just got so it wasn't worth the emotional/mental stress of dealing with people who don't understand living with an invisible, long-term illness.

And one thing I have learned, if you aren't active, it doesn't matter how much you did before, you're soon forgotten.

So I just got tired and withdrew from the fray.  Socializing is too difficult.  Communication too one-sided.  Why, for instance, write on this blog when no one reads it?  So for a long time I didn't bother.  Why I am doing so now, I'm not sure, except that it's 2:30am and I can't sleep, and maybe it's good therapy.

Why send cards, letters, or emails to people who aren't really interested?  A waste of my time and theirs.  No need to make people feel obligated to send back a little thank you or whatever so they do 'the right thing.'

And what to write or talk about anyway?  Nope, I don't fit in there either.  Not conversant in sports speak.  Not fond of talking politics, because really people, it usually just causes hard feelings, and no one is going to convince someone on the other side of the fence to change their mind anyway.  Same thing with religion. 

I used to think my x-mother-in-law was a little extreme because she outlawed talk of religion and politics at family gatherings, but more and more I see the merit of her position.

So who in my close or extended family would be interested in talking about being an online entrepreneur, and understand what I was talking about if I discussed SEO, Google algorithms, and the latest Panda or Penguin update?  Or backlinking, the best traffic sources, how to find good outsourcers, optimizing Wordpress, tweaking php files, long tail keywords, the best affiliate programs, webinars, cloaked links, page rank, security plugins, or any of a hundred other things I deal with on a regular basis?

No one, that's who.  It's just not something anyone else cares about or understands.

Well then, how about if we talked about science?  Maybe how SPECT imaging is moving forward the science of explaining how even small damage to your brain can change your behavior, and ways people like Dr. Daniel Amen are finding that will help repair the damage.  Or how a SPECT image relates to the field of neurotheology, and understanding the relationship between spirituality and the brain?

No? Maybe the science behind energy healing?  Or how about the role of supplements in healing/wellness or the latest research on health foods and organic foods?

Something totally different then... Farming? Raising peafowl, turkeys? Caring for a parrot? 

Okay, how about the merits of Kindle publishing vs. Create Space vs PubIt!?  How about the KDP program? 

I could go on and on, but the point should be plain by now.  The stuff I find interesting just isn't the same stuff the rest of my family finds interesting.  Our interests don't mesh, so  I don't fit in.  Not in the slightest.

Solitary.  Misfit.   That's me.