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Oh, to be a SUPER GRANDMA!

A good friend often knows what you’re thinking even when you don’t express it. I hadn’t mentioned this particular situation, but got an email yesterday asking how I was “doing with it.” Perceptive as always, this friend had figured out from reading my dear daughter-in-law’s blog I’d be thinking about this.

What’s that? Well, my lack of grandmothering.

Ellie’s Mommy has started a new part time job, and one of the days she’s at work Ellie stays with her Northern Grandma (I’m Southern Grandma – big surprise, huh?). This has been a weekly routine for some time, even before the job, and her grandma also takes Ellie to her swimming lessons that day.

I am green with envy.

Yes, I know they can only be near one set of parents. And at one point, they tried to work it out so they’d be moving here, and I would have been the fortunate one, and Northern Grandma would have been kind of left out. I would have felt bad for her, but hey! I know I would also have enjoyed the kids and Ellie being close. It just didn’t work out that way.

And I know it’s better they are in Canada, with an extended family there to help out when needed, and a publicly funded health care system to help with Ellie’s needs due to her having Cerebral Palsy.

And if I am brutally honest with myself, I also know I would feel guilty not being able to care more for Ellie if she WAS close. The last time we were all together, about the time Ellie needed a rest time, so did Grandma. I don’t have the stamina for much physical activity, even just walking around a mall, for more than a couple of hours at a time. So I’m not much of a help as a babysitter.

This wasn’t how I envisioned having grandchildren. They were supposed to live relatively close, and I was supposed to be able to enjoy playing with them days on end. Instead our grandchildren are scattered from Florida to Canada, and I am unable to cope with much visiting.

And to take Ellie swimming? I can’t even think of putting on a bathing suit without cringing. I flinch when putting on a shirt. Clothing has got to be LOOSE, so it doesn’t rub against hypersensitive skin. Many mornings I think, “It’s just not right it hurts to put on a shirt.”

But life rarely turns out just like we thought it would. And it’s certainly not always fair. So while I’m envious Northern Grandma gets to spend so much time with Ellie, I’m thankful Ellie has a grandma close by to love her and play with her. I’m thankful for email and digital cameras, so I get wonderful pictures and little movies on a regular basis, and I can see how she’s growing and what she’s doing.

It’s not the same as being there of course, and I am sad I can’t be a better Grandma to Ellie and our other grandchildren. But I can and do rejoice I have grandchildren, and unlike my mother, have lived to see them.

I love them. I pray for them. I try to do the best I can. And in the end, I guess that’s all any of us can do, no matter what our situation.

But I sure do wish I could be SUPER GRANDMA, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound and play and play and play!

4 comments:

How beautifully expressed, ever thinking of others. You are a super grandma.

 

Ah, but you ARE a SUPER GRANDMA! It doesn't have to be related to the physical or geographical, as much as we all wish both those could be in play more. The #1 things (would that make them #1 & #2 then?) Ellie needs are love & support, and you provide both of those in spades. From emails to prayers to care packages to bragging to calendar fundraisers to long distance kisses -- you're there for her. Never think otherwise, and we're going to make sure she knows it too! ;)

 

Well said....and HONEST!

RR

 

I feel for you. When we are in our prime, we think we will feel that way physically for the rest of our lives.

Little do we know what is in store for us.

I won't go into my physical problems, but it does hinder me from doing many things I would like to do.

It has just been the last 24 months that I can no longer go to amusement parks with my Granddaughter, or anyplace that requires a lot of walking or standing. I think I will miss that the most.

And I started my blog as a way to deal with the depression that always follows the physical inabilities.

But I found that the best therapy was to post things totally unrelated (for the most part) to me, myself, or I and nothing about my family. So I post newsworthy items, the unusual, recommendations for places to eat, books, music or movies and humor in general.

The time spent doing my blog makes me think in a more positive way, or when doing research for newsworthy items, just keeps my mind off whatever is causing the depression.

I know that this is not going to solve the depression. But it certainly helps me to cope with it.

Good luck and I hope you will get to see your children and grandchildren more often.