Downright Discouraged

Most days I might rant and rave about something, but I keep a pretty optimistic attitude for all that. But once in a while, I get more than a little overwhelmed and downright discouraged.

Today is such a day.

I’m behind on everything. The corollary is I can’t keep up with anything! The house is a disaster. It needs a good cleaning in the worst way. A really deep cleaning, clearing out a whole bunch of stuff cleaning.

With that in mind, I got the bright idea I’d kill two birds with one stone and be clearing stuff out of the basement and pod, and be selling the decent stuff and thus making some extra money to use to pay off my computer.

It’s a good plan, except for one thing. It takes time. Today drove that point home.

I’d advertised a nice wooden futon frame we aren’t using, and agreed to meet the people who wanted it in a nearby church parking lot. Jonathan was going to help me load it into the back of the truck, but first we had to get it out of the pod.

When we did, we discovered there must be a leak allowing some moisture in there, because the wood was coated with a powdery mold/mildew. So I needed to clean that off. Once again. . . it took time.

After we got it loaded, I had about 45 minutes until I needed to drive to the church. Not long enough to do anything much really, but too long to sit around and do nothing. Anyway, the point is that by the time we got this thing out, cleaned, loaded, and delivered, my morning was pretty well shot.

I am behind on doing snail mail this week. Same thing with humor mailings. I need to WORK. Online sort of work that is. I’m way behind there too. I just have many, many things to do, and can't seem to find enough time to get them all done. Worse is so many hours are lost to the chronic pain/ fibromyalgia/ chronic fatigue problems.

Like today for instance. I’ve been recuperating from a 4+ hour trip to Marietta, Georgia, and another 4+ hours back. While at the clinic yesterday I got an IV full of anti-viral stuff, and it’s knocked me on my can. The doctor warned me that might happen. Nothing like feeling like you’ve got the flu to help you get better, right?

She had another blood test result back, too. More discouraging news, but not surprising since it just went along with the other lab results. This was a special blood test to see if the body is fighting infection, and it was ten times higher than it ought to be. That means I need to take an oral anti-viral medication now, plus shots every two weeks. I am sooooo thrilled (read that with lots and LOTS of sarcasm).

And while I’m being so thrilled (NOT!), the doc also told me next visit it will be time to start work on clearing the fibrin out of my blood vessels. Previous tests showed that a likely problem. The short explanation is this fibrin coating on the inside of the blood vessels traps the viruses and bacteria, trying to protect the body. However, at the same time it slows down the oxygen diffusion out to the cells, contributing to the fatigue.

To correct the problem and get rid of the fibrin, thus allowing oxygen to get through easier, means those trapped bacteria, viruses and toxins will also be released. And apparently THAT means an average of two months of feeling WORSE before slowly getting better over the next 6 or 7 months.

Well now, that’s really thrilling. (That's more sarcasm in case you're wondering.)

Have I mentioned I feel downright discouraged today?