“The Love Boat vs. Real Life Cruises”

Or “Things you never saw when watching The Love Boat” in no particular order…

#1) People walked into restaurants without having to stop at the hand sanitizer dispenser on the way in. And they have someone stationed there to remind you to do so!

#2) The Captain was a visible presence, you actually saw him once in a while, and people got invited to the Captain’s table vs. him being a disembodied voice. “This is your Captain speaking from the bridge.” Okay, where else would he be???

#3) The weather was always gorgeous vs. rains and fogs.

#4) The bartender was always outgoing and had time to chat a while vs. it takes 30 minutes to get the bartender to give you a cup of hot chocolate. Then the only conversation you’re going to get is, “Sign this please,” as he hands you a bill for almost $3.

#5) The photographers are out taking lots of pictures on both The Love Boat and in real life. The difference is you never saw people shelling out $15 for a 5x7 photo on The Love Boat.

#6) You didn’t see people staggering around on The Love Boat as they tried to get used to the ship’s movement. And you most certainly didn’t see the long line of people waiting to get seasickness pills at the medical clinic on the first day out.

#7) On The Love Boat, cabins looked spacious. In real life, the rooms are a hallway with a bed on either side, and a tiny little bathroom.

#8) When the ship docked at different ports, people got on and off whenever they felt like it on The Love Boat. In real life you have to check out, and then when you get back on you have to go through a security check like the ones at airports.

#9) The Love Boat has a purser who was always doing things for passengers. In real life you go down to the reception desk and wait in line for your turn to make a request.

And my top pick for the most infamous difference between The Love Boat and Real Life Cruises…

#10) On The Love Boat, the doctor was always amiable, you could understand every word he said. You most certainly didn’t see him hand patients a huge bill after spending 10 minutes checking them out.